Balancing work while caring for children and ageing parents is really difficult and often your own needs end up coming last. When you are the primary caregiver for two generations, it’s easy for your own needs to fall to the bottom of the pile and your own wellbeing to suffer. Understanding how to spot the early warning signs of caregiver burnout is essential to protecting your health, your performance at work and the quality of time you have with the people you care about the most.
Preventing caregiver burnout
The ‘sandwich generation’
Navigating life while caring for both children and ageing parents is often often referred to as being part of the ‘sandwich generation’ and brings a unique set of challenges. You are likely managing the high-energy demands of raising a family while simultaneously taking on the complex, and often unpredictable, medical and logistical needs of an elderly relative. These roles, alongside working and managing a home, require a sustainable framework to manage.
Looking after yourself
When your schedule is full of competing demands on your time, your own needs can be forgotten but you cannot sustain high-level caregiving without intentionally setting aside downtime and investing in yourself. If you constantly overlook your own needs, you run the risk caregiver burnout.
Caregiver burnout isn’t just being tired, it’s a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Symptoms include:
- Decision fatigue: feeling paralysed by minor choices because your mental bandwidth is entirely used up.
- Irritability: Getting annoyed by issues that wouldn’t normally bother you.
- Physical symptoms: Persistent headaches, disrupted sleep or getting sick more often than usual.
If you recognise these symptoms, it could be a signal from your body that your current way of operating is not sustainable. These three, practical strategies are good proactive steps to help restore balance:
- Communicate openly with your employer: Speak to your manager or HR department about your circumstances. Many organisations offer flexible working policies that can help you manage school commitments and medical appointments. Being honest about your need for flexibility can reduce the stress of trying to manage your caregiving responsibilities alone.
- Set clear boundaries: You cannot be the primary point of contact for every crisis. Use a shared family calendar to plan for the week ahead, noting the fixed and fluid commitments. If a task isn’t critical, look for ways to delegate it or let it wait.
- Accept that you cannot do it alone: Often the most difficult step to avoiding burnout, is accepting that you cannot be the primary provider for everyone at all times. Speak to family and friends and look for ways to share the responsibilities. If that isn’t possible, it might be time to consider employing professional support.
When is it time for professional support
Bringing in professional support for an elderly parent allows you to step back from managing their needs and reclaim your role as a son or daughter. When the daily logistics of care; medication, appointments and household tasks, are managed by someone else, it frees you up to enjoy quality time with your parents. Prioritising your mental health benefits everyone. Your children and parents will benefit when you are well rested and less stressed.
